My Dearest Anne,

Last year I was told that if I got to my goal weight I would have any sexual fantasy I had fulfilled, and I failed. THIS year I was just, not two seconds ago, offered a deal where if I lost 30lbs by the end of the year that I would be taken on a trip (not too expensive). So here we go! I've already lost a good 30lbs from High School/College so this next 30 should be eaaaassy right? lol, probably not. So I've cut myself down to 1250-1500 calories a day. Either three 350cal meals with two 100cal snakes OR three 500 calorie meals. I'm thinking three 500 calorie meals. But I'll try and be good this time. Not like earlier this year when I was all about losing weight, lost ten pounds, went to Boston, then gained it right back. No, definitely not like that. I'll keep you posted.

So I just finished Persuasion, I had previously not read it and only watched the movies, and I've decided that my life is SO much like Anne's. Basically, I'm Anne, Marc is Wentworth, My friends are Lady Russell, the ppl Marc have been seeing are Louisa and Henrietta, and Alex is Mr. William Elliot. It totally all fits. And Alex is totally William Elliot, wanting to date me and him putting up all the cute, loving, sweet boy persona. And now when I talk to him I realize that he is back "dating" Zoey, but since she isn't putting out as much as he wants her to he's totally willing to cheat on her (saying to himself -and me- that she would understand). Which is totally what sleezy William Elliot would do. Since he told me that I've been very, very disinterested in him. "All the privilege I claim for my own sex is that of loving longest, when existence or when hope is gone." ????? Oh yeah, that's me. 

Lunch time now! 

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